There’s a big difference between knowing it and doing it
Can I make a confession? We all know going outside is good for you. It’s such a core value of mine that I uprooted my whole life to relocate into the woods. That’s why it was so hard for me to come to the realization a few weeks back that “omg. I never go outside anymore”. I had become a get in the car, drive to work, drive home and go to bed person, and it was so hard to admit. You see, one of my values is “spend time outside”. I moved to the woods! I couldn’t possibly be nature deficient. But here’s the thing: it’s not enough to love and value the woods, to post on Instagram about living in the woods. I needed to close my laptop, bundle up and go into the woods.
I have lots of good reasons for not doing it. And I’m sure you do too. Like really good totally valid reasons. I’m not here to beat myself up about it, and I’m certainly not beating anyone else up either. The woods I moved to are cold, dark and snowy in the winter. The work at my computer is interesting and often urgent. But at some point I had to decide, without judgment, to honour that value of mine of connecting with the more-than-human world with one small, concrete action.
This isn’t a sermon on going outside (but also, go outside! It’s nice there! There are cool things like moss and small birds and rivers). But I want to point out the blind spots we have because of our values. I know this is good for me. I believe in it. I espouse it. So it must mean I do it. Only, does it?
Here’s another example: Some time ago, I was recovering from a brutal health crisis that changed my physical reality. My body felt like a burdensome alien thing. A place of suffering and shame. But I also believed that there’s no wrong way to have a body, and espoused body positivity. (though I’m landing more on body neutrality these days). I’d been philosophizing about it for years! Then, one day I realized that the next step in healing was to walk the talk and climb back into my body no matter how much I resisted it. I decided that, for me, the best way to do that was to join a sexy dance program with a performance element. It was drastic, but it made me feel like maybe confidence and glamour aren’t just for Beyonce and other beings who’ve achieved a standard of perfection. They were for me too. Exactly as I was. And for all 300 women in my program too.
It’s ok if you don’t always live your values. I don’t, and I’m pretty sure no one else does it perfectly. Things come and go. Life has seasons, and remedies vary from moment to moment. But if there’s something you need right now. If there’s a value that is dear to you but missing in your life, and you didn’t realize you’re aching for it until now… this is your sign to flip the switch. Take the dive. Get up and take the first step without so much as a story.
I for one, am going to shut down my computer and go for a walk.
